Letter (goes with Monologue)


It’s been a while since my last letter. Though I don’t know how much I should apologize, since this is, more or less, a one sided correspondence.

Sorry, that sounds like I’m mad. I’m not. And it’s not like someone has put a gun to my head about writing you, so… I don’t know.

Anyway, I guess the main reason I’m writing is to tell you that I finally finished In Search of Lost Time. Should I have underlined that or put it in quotes? I can never remember which. But I finished it! It only took three years, but I did it. Quite the labor of love too. I really struggled with “The Fugitive”, but “Time Regained” really flew by. And to think that when I started “Swann’s Way,” you laughed at me and thought I’d never wind up finishing all seven. But I did it. I think it helped to treat the seven volumes like the Harry Potter series. Except these were better.

But reading Proust made me think of that day we played scrabble and I tried to use the word… what was it… Panjector or something like that? Total bullshit, I know. But I had a great definition for it. A projector for panoramic views: a Panjector. If that hasn’t been invented yet, I’m sure it will be and then I’ll have the last laugh.

That scrabble day then got me thinking of other things, sadder things. The way our relationship soured and then fell apart. I wasn’t mad that night, and I hope you know that. It was never about being mad. I didn’t care that you were at some guy’s apartment. I mean, it says something that you called me and asked me to pick you up. But you refused to address it afterwards, like it didn’t happen at all. You couldn’t even pay me the respect to discuss it. Because it mattered to me, even if I had already forgiven you.


I didn’t really mean for this letter to turn out this way. I guess I just start writing and then it all freefalls onto the page.

It’s great out here. Moving back East was the right decision. And I’m getting a lot accomplished, not just reading Proust, but actually putting a life together. I’d love it if you came to visit, but I can understand if it won’t work.

I really don’t want to get sentimental or hokey or anything like that, but I do miss you. And I hope things are going well for you.

Think about picking up “Swann’s Way.” I left my copy in your bookshelf.

Write back?



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